


A Magnificent Grey

by Jabean



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alina Starkov is an adult, Darklina - Freeform, Explicit Rating to be safe, F/M, Gen, Older Man/Younger Woman, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shadow and Bone - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:34:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29871288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jabean/pseuds/Jabean
Summary: Instead of fleeing like Baghra insisted, Alina decides to stay at the Little Palace and work out a compromise with the Darkling.Can he be trusted not to manipulate her further, or is Alina in over her head?**SPORADIC UPDATES**
Relationships: The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov
Comments: 32
Kudos: 119
Collections: Grisha Trilogy





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings!
> 
> Yep, I've decided to start yet another WIP, because I am a fool apparently.
> 
> As mentioned in the summary, this story does not have an update schedule. Just whenever the muse strikes.
> 
> I can be reached on Tumblr. You can find me [here](https://jabean21.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Please do be kind. I am a gentle soul, I swear. 
> 
> Jabean❤️

Alina sat on the edge of her chair. Tense.

She was waiting in her bedroom for the Darkling to join her as he’d promised earlier, going over all that Baghra had told her. About her son. About his plans.

For her.

She wrung her hands together in wait, watching the door. Willing for it to both open—allowing entry to the Darkling—and to stay firmly shut. Keeping him away from her until she was ready.

Alina snorted, shaking her head at her thoughts. She’d never be ready for this conversation. Ever.

She wasn’t even sure she had made the right decision, staying here in the Little Palace rather than fleeing like Baghra had insisted. Her shins were still smarting from the ancient woman’s cane. 

Baghra had exasperatedly and repeatedly smacked her with her cane when Alina had hesitated, then eventually refused to run away. Calling her a foolishly stupid little girl before shooing her out of her hut.

Alina knew that if she did flee, the Darkling would stop at nothing to get her back. If everything Baghra said was true, Alina understood that he would slaughter everyone in his way to get to her.

She refused to let that happen.

A quiet, but firm knock sounded on Alina’s door, causing her heart to jolt with anticipation.

She cleared her throat. “Come in.”

The door quickly opened, admitting the man who had taken up far too much of her thoughts.

The Darkling quirked his head at her sitting in wait at the little table. Narrowing his eyes at her as he clicked her door shut, he took a hesitant step in her direction before stopping abruptly.

“Alina,” he broke the tense silence. “Something is bothering you.” A statement, not a question.

Alina gestured to the tall chair facing her on the other side of the table. “Please have a seat.” She swallowed her nervousness. “We’ve got plenty of things that need to be discussed.”

“About?” The Darkling made his way closer.

Alina gave him a tight smile once he reached the table. “About you.”

_ “Me?” _ he asked her as he slowly sunk down into the offered chair. “Have you been speaking with the other Grisha about me?” He gave her a curious, but amused, smirk.

Alina just stared, refusing to let his charm distract her. “You’re the Black Heretic,” she whispered. Her hands shook with fear as she watched his expression change from one that was curious to something more guarded.  _ “You.” _

“Am I now?”

It wasn’t an outright denial or the confirmation that Alina was hoping for. Although she wasn’t at all surprised at his response.

“You created the Shadow Fold and the volcra,” Alina ignored his question as she repeated what Baghra had told her an hour or so earlier. Her voice was shaking in time with her hands. “You want to use me in order to subdue them. The volcra were a mistake; the punishment for your arrogance. That’s why you’re searching for Morozova’s stag. To force me to help you expand the Fold. You want to make me your slave.” Her bottom lip wobbled. “You want to use me as your shield while you scar Ravka further.”

The Darkling opened his mouth to reply before closing it without uttering a word. Instead he clasped his hands together on the table and leaned forward slightly in his seat. “Why would you tell me this?” He raised a brow at her in question. “Surely the more clever idea would be to keep it to yourself.”

Alina sobbed behind her hands. Her tears began streaking down her cheeks at his refusal to deny any of it. “Because… I was told to run. Instead I stayed. I needed to be sure.”

There was tense silence for a few minutes, broken only by Alina’s sniffling as she tried, and failed, to get her emotions under control. She stole a glance at her guest, who was watching her with intrigue. Like she was a mystery that he needed to solve.

The Darkling sighed tiredly, rubbing his face with his hands before giving her a wry grin. “You’re a very peculiar woman, Alina.” He set his hands down on the table between them. “Tell me, what are we going to do about this?”

Alina swallowed, her throat was tight from fear. “I need to understand why you want to expand the Fold.”

“You’ll help me?” The Darkling couldn’t keep his surprise out of his tone.

Alina shook her head. “I never said that. I just want to understand your reasoning in order to make a better decision about what I need to do.” She gave him a pointed look. “One thing I do know, however, is that I will  _ not _ be your slave.”

The Darkling narrowed his eyes at her. “Have you eaten since the fete?”

Alina blinked at the abrupt change in topic. She shook her head at his question and blushed with embarrassment as her stomach gave a quiet growl in protest.

She watched as he practically leapt up from his chair and quickly made his way towards the door. Alina held her breath as she listened in on his muttering to the guard on duty in the hallway. He was ordering a late night snack of wine, cheese, and fruit to share as they discussed the predicament that they’d found themselves in.

The Darkling returned to his chair moments later and together they sat in silence for a few minutes at the little table while they waited for the food to arrive. “You’re nervous,” he said after a moment.

Alina raised a brow in disbelief and huffed quietly. “I’m having a midnight snack with someone who is very much keen on destroying everyone and everything in Ravka. I’m not sure what you were expecting.” She frowned. “And you’re avoiding answering my questions.”

A slow grin spread on the Darkling’s face. 

Alina scowled at herself as she felt the butterflies in her stomach dance. She glared down at the table, refusing to meet his gaze as she ignored the obvious flush on her cheeks.

“You’ve not actually asked me anything, Alina,” he informed her quietly. “You’ve only told me what my mother has said to you.” He gestured vaguely as Alina peered back up at him. “Ask away.”

“Why?”

They were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door, followed by a servant entering her bedroom who was wheeling a cart laden with two bottles of wine, various cheeses, some sliced up fruit, and a small basket of steaming sticky rolls.

Alina watched as the servant placed the food and drinks on the table along with small plates and two wine glasses.

“That’s enough,” the Darkling stopped the servant from pouring them each a drink. “Thank you.”

“Sir.” The servant gave him a curt, tight nod of his head and quickly left the bedroom.

“Is red alright?” the Darkling asked after the door clicked shut, keeping them away from prying eyes and ears. He frowned as he uncorked the bottle of wine.

“Of course.” Alina swallowed and watched as he filled her glass with a dark red wine before doing the same for himself.

Sighing, the Darkling gestured to the food laid out before them. “Take whatever you like. You must be hungry.”

Alina swallowed, her throat was tight with emotion. She grabbed a sticky bun, a few cubes of soft cheese, and a couple of green apple slices. “Answer the question, please,” she murmured quietly, hiding her shaking hands on her lap.

“It’s complicated,” the Darkling admitted. “And, not likely able to be explained well enough in the few hours before we leave.”

“Excuse me?” Alina shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere. Or if I am, it’ll be without you.”

“Your tracker has found evidence of the stag. I told you this earlier,” the Darkling reminded her. “We need to leave in a few hours to meet up with my men.”

“I will  _ not _ be your slave!” Alina jabbed a finger at him. “I won’t!”

The Darkling held up a hand, instantly shushing her. “A compromise then.” He stared at her pointedly. “For both of us. At least until I can explain my reasoning behind what I plan to do with the Shadow Fold.”

“Compromise how?”

The Darkling smirked at her and took a sip of his wine. “You kill it. Not I.”

Alina blinked, but otherwise remained silent.

“I trust that you are now aware of how amplifiers work.” The Darkling popped a cube of hard cheese in his mouth and chewed before swallowing. “Those who kill the animal, especially this particular one, are the ones who control the amplifier and the person wearing it.” He gestured once more to her food. “Eat up, Alina. We don’t know how long we will be away. Every little bit helps.”

Alina selected a slice of apple from her plate and began munching on it. “I feel like I know very little Grisha theory compared to you.”

“You do.”

“Then how do I know that this isn’t some trick?” she asked him sadly. “How do I know that this isn’t you manipulating me like you’ve been doing all along?”

“I haven’t been manipulating you all along,” the Darkling insisted quietly.

Alina snorted. “No? Was it someone else then that stopped my letters from reaching Mal?”

The Darkling’s lips twitched as if he was holding back a grin while he shook his head. “He’s not good for you.”

“That’s not for you to decide.”

“He’s afraid of your powers. Terrified of them.” The Darkling frowned. “I’m not afraid of what you are, Alina. I’m not afraid of what you can be.”

Alina sipped her wine, allowing the fruity drink wash over her tongue before swallowing. “Mal  _ is _ afraid of my abilities,” she conceded quietly, “But, you hunger for them. You want me  _ because of _ my power.” She shrugged. “Mal and I have been there for each other for as long as I can remember. He is my best friend, he always has been and always will be.” She leaned forward in her chair. “And if I learn that you happen to block anymore of my letters to him, I can assure you that this compromise will be for nought. I’ll end our partnership without a second thought and without warning.”

“Fine,” the Darkling said after a moment of silence. “Deal.”

Alina waved a cube of soft cheese at him. “I’m not done.” She tossed the cheese into her mouth and chewed. “You will not harm or kill anyone who warned me about you.” She swallowed. “Nor will you harm or kill certain individuals for telling me about the letters.”

“I concede that as well.” The Darkling narrowed his eyes at her. “You drive a hard bargain.”

Alina shook her head. “I really don’t. I’m just…  _ cautious.  _ I don’t know that I can trust you after what I’ve learned.” She had another sip of her wine, savouring the taste. “Is there anything you wished to discuss?” She needed more time to think over all she had learned. Alone.

“You were told to flee,” the Darkling prompted her. “Why didn’t you?”

“I’ve already told you, I needed to be sure.”

The Darkling just shook his head at her response. He didn’t believe her.

Alina sighed. “Because, I know that if I did run you would stop at nothing to get me back.” She met his gaze dead on. “I don’t want people to die. Not for me.”

“So you sacrificed yourself like a lamb for slaughter,” the Darkling shook his head amusedly. “How honourable.”

His cheek at her response caused Alina to roll her eyes in annoyance. She didn’t appreciate being made to feel stupid.

“Not honourable, no.” Alina shook her head at him. “I am not a lamb and you won’t kill me. I’m the sun summoner. You need me for whatever it is that you’ve got planned.” She raised a brow, challenging him. “As an aside, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak down to me as if I were still a child.”

The Darkling conceded her request before reaching out to grab his glass of wine.

Alina hesitated for only a moment before reaching out and grasping his hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze that the Darkling returned in kind. “I’ll help you—not to destroy everything. But, I will help you  _ personally _ if that’s what you want.” It was a compromise, but one she knew that she needed to make with him in order to understand just what was going on. She gave him a cautious smile that she hoped was somewhat comforting. “Like calls to like, even if it terrifies me.”

The Darkling stared at her in silence before breaking her gaze. He let go of her hand and reached for his wine. “I’ve been alone my whole life.” He took a sip of his drink.

Alina shook her head. “Not any longer. You’ve got me now.” 

They were words that absolutely petrified Alina, but she knew deep down that they were entirely true. He had her, just as she had him. It was something that she could see so clearly now sitting here with him in her bedroom in the middle of the night.

Had anyone else accused the Darkling of such horrific acts, Alina knew without a shadow of a doubt that they wouldn’t have survived the confrontation.

Alina reached for her glass of wine and hummed thoughtfully as she had a sip. “Can you tell me what to expect with the stag?” She frowned. “I’ve never been on a hunt for an amplifier before. I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to be walking into and I’d like to be prepared.”

“The stag will be trapped until we reach it,” the Darkling began quietly as he munched on a slice of apple. “Once there, you will kill it and a fabrikator will fashion you your amplifier.”

“And you promise that I will be the one to kill it?” Alina couldn’t help but ask. 

The Darkling nodded. “I promise.”

“And afterwards?” Alina had another bite of her sticky roll. “What then?”

“I’ll explain my reasonings for expanding the Fold as promised.”

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Alina rubbed the sleep out of her eyes with one hand and clutched the carved banister with the other as she was quickly led down the stairs of the Little Palace by Ivan and an _oprichniki_ soldier that she couldn’t remember the name of this early in the morning.

Shivering once they stepped into the open air, Alina clutched at her _kefta_ to stave off the cold as the small group made their way towards the waiting black and blue coaches and numerous _oprichniki_ soldiers on horseback waiting for the order to begin the journey to Tsibeya.

“She travels with me,” the unmistakable voice of the Darkling broke the eerie silence of the early dawn.

“Of course, sir,” Ivan confirmed as the other man split off to mount his waiting horse.

Alina came to a stop just outside the black coach and turned around to peer up at the Darkling as he confidently made his way down the stairs of the grand entrance to the palace.

The Darkling gave Alina an almost imperceptible grin as he stopped directly in front of her. “Are you ready?”

“You know I am.” Alina patted the knife clipped to her belt that Botkin had gifted her. She’d made certain that she had armed herself with the Grisha steel, not wanting to take any chances with the compromise that they’d reached only a few hours earlier.

Ivan opened the coach door and gave Alina an exaggerated bow. “After you, Starkov.” He had a wry grin on his face as he helped her up into the carriage.

Alina thanked him and quickly found a spot to sit down. The Darkling and Ivan joined her seconds later and soon they were off.

Hiding a yawn behind her hand as they pulled away from the Little Palace, Alina looked between the Darkling and Ivan. “Why’re there so many people coming with us?”

The Darkling raised a brow in obvious surprise at her question. “For you, Alina. To keep you safe.”

Alina pressed her lips together to prevent her mouth from popping open in shock at his words. _“Oh,”_ she squeaked.

“‘Oh’ indeed.” The Darkling now smiled fully at her. “Try to get some rest if you can. It’s going to be a long trek to get where we need to be.”

Alina sighed as she tucked her hands in her sleeves and brought her chin down to her chest. 

She began to nod off almost instantly.

~ | ~

“Do you think she’s ready for an amplifier?” Ivan’s question brought her out of her deep sleep. “She barely has control of her abilities as it is, the Winter Fete notwithstanding.”

Alina tried to keep her breathing steady, realizing that she was now leaning against the Darkling’s shoulder as he ran his fingers gently through her hair.

“She can continue her training while wearing an amplifier,” the Darkling assured his guard. “It may actually work in her favour over the long run. Our trip into the Shadow Fold will have to wait though.” He sighed. _“That_ she needs to be trained a bit longer for. Perhaps privately with me.”

“You know the king is keen on using her as soon as possible. I heard from a few others about how he was practically salivating over her at the fete last night after your guys’ little razzle-dazzle.” A pause. “I don’t think it was all his drunkenness either.”

“The king is a spoiled toddler,” the Darkling snapped at Ivan’s comment. “He sees the Grisha as zoo creatures at his beck and call to show off to his guests.” He paused. “He will have to wait until Alina is ready and not a moment sooner.”

Alina exhaled slowly. Tiredly.

“You truly believe that Starkov will actually be able to get rid of the Fold?” Ivan’s curiosity was apparent in his tone.

The Darkling sighed once again. “I do.” He kissed the top of Alina’s head as his left hand brushed against the back of her neck. “She’s far more powerful than she realizes.”

Alina was asleep in seconds.

~ | ~

Alina woke with a start, confused and slightly groggy, and took in her surroundings. Ivan sat curled up against the side of the carriage directly across from her, sound asleep. The Darkling still sat next to her with an arm draped lazily over her shoulders.

She narrowed her eyes at the Darkling as she pulled away from him and cleared her throat. “You knocked me out.”

“You needed your rest,” the Darkling justified as Ivan gave a loud snore. “You and I both know you had very little of it last night.”

Alina huffed, shaking her head. She hadn’t slept more than a few minutes. Instead she had spent the better part of the night bawling her eyes out after the Darkling left her bedroom. Petrified that her feelings for him clouded her judgement and that her act of confronting him would lead to the deaths of the people of Ravka.

She sniffed as she peered out the window of the coach, spotting tall, cascading mountains off in the distance. “Are we coming up on Ryevost?” She turned in her seat to look at him.

The Darkling shook his head. “Just passed through.” He hid a yawn behind his hand. “We’ll be traveling through the Petrazoi Mountains and setting up camp on the north end.”

“Why are we camping so far south of the last known location of the herd?” Alina asked him quietly. “You mentioned last night that Mal said he was able to spot evidence of Morzova’s herd in the northern part of Tsibeya, near the permafrost.”

The Darkling raised a brow at her question. “I don’t want to alert Fjerda of our location. The abundance of soldiers and coaches might make them believe that Ravka was about to declare war.”

Alina’s stomach clenched with nervousness. They were really doing this; _she_ was really this. She gave the Darkling a little nod of her head but otherwise remained silent, uncertain about what she should say to him after everything they’d been through over the last twenty-four hours. “I’m sorry for falling asleep on you,” she self-consciously murmured after a moment.

She watched as the Darkling chuckled quietly, amusement shining in his eyes. “I wasn’t complaining, Alina.”

“I just thought… after…” she sighed, struggling to find the right words. “You know...” she drifted off, shrugging.

She didn’t know what the Darkling wanted, nor what she wanted. She knew that she was still attracted to him even after everything that she’d learned. It was a fact that she couldn’t deny, even if it terrified her right down to her bones.

Maybe Baghra was right. Maybe she _was_ a stupid little girl.

“It appears that I’m drawn to you against my better judgement,” Alina muttered quietly. “Even in my sleep.” She thought back to the time they’d entered the Fold and she had outed herself as a Grisha only months earlier. She had felt it then too when she first met him in the tent. She’d been just too confused and too afraid to pay it any attention.

The Darkling peered at her knowingly. “Like calls to like, Alina.”

~ | ~

They finally reached camp late in the night. 

The dark Grisha tent was set up close to a trickling stream and just off of the twisting trail on the north end of the Petrazoi Mountains.

Alina peered around the camp. The red carriage of the Corporalki was parked near the entrance of the temporary dwelling. She looked up at the Darkling as they began to walk with Ivan and the _oprichniki_ soldiers towards the tent. “Is _everyone_ here?”

The Darkling shook his head. “Just a few squallers and healers for additional security.” He frowned. “They left shortly after the meeting I had with my men, the ones who spotted Morozova’s herd.”

“Mal’s here?”

The Darkling stopped abruptly and reached out to grab Alina’s elbow, halting her progress into the tent. “He is. He’s an exceptional tracker. I’m pleasantly surprised that he was able to even find a trace of the stag.”

Alina couldn’t help but grin. “I told you he was the best.”

“That you did.” The flickering light from the bonfire just inside the tent accentuated his frown as he peered down at her, brushing his thumb against her cheek. “Don’t speak of our discussion that we had, Alina. Is that understood?” His face was serious and his slate eyes, dark as coal.

She didn’t doubt the unspoken threat in his question.

Alina swallowed, her throat was tight with emotion. She gave him a shaky nod of her head. “We didn’t part on good terms last night,” she admitted quietly. “I doubt he’ll even want to talk to me at all.”

Nodding, the Darkling gestured for her to enter into the tent before him. “Let’s see what they’ve been able to catch for a late dinner, shall we?”

Alina stepped into the large tent to the sounds of the crackling fire and indiscernible chatter from the people huddled nearby as a fawn cooked over the open flames. 

Waiting only a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light, she found an opening in the circle of people huddled around the fire and made her way over to sit down and warm herself up from the chill of the mountains.

The chatter died down as the Darkling slowly sunk down to sit next to Alina.

“At ease,” the Darkling told the group. His quiet voice carrying easily through the tent.

“The fawn’s close to being done, sir,” Sergei informed the newcomers as he handed a half-empty bottle of _kvas_ to the Darkling. “The little fucker was apparently a pain in the ass to catch.”

Alina searched the faces for Mal, ignoring the group’s banter at one of the soldier’s plight at catching such a young animal. 

She spotted him after a moment sitting on the other side of the bonfire, already watching her. He was the only one of the group, besides her, who hadn’t joined in with the laughter or bantering occurring between the soldiers.

She gave him a timid smile that quickly melted off of her face when she spotted Zoya curled up next to him.

The squaller raised a brow at Alina, challenging her, before whispering something in Mal’s ear and drawing a chuckle from him as he accepted the bottle of _kvas_ that she’d held out for him to take.

Alina broke eye contact and stared down at her hands. Trying desperately to keep her tears at bay. Mal’s rejection stung horribly.

“How early do we need to leave tomorrow, Oretsev?” The Darkling’s question halted the ongoing bantering.

“It depends on how many of us are coming along, sir,” Mal answered. “I didn’t realize there would be quite this many people.”

“They’re just here to protect my sun summoner. For the remainder of the trek it’ll only be you, a few of my own soldiers, Alina, myself and a handful of selected Grisha,” the Darkling assured him quietly.

“That’s changed from last night,” Mal responded. His voice was tense. Uncertain. 

“It has,” the Darkling conceded. “That won’t be a problem for you, will it?” he asked as he smiled down at Alina. “Alina deserves the best protection available. Just in case.”

Alina swallowed, wondering what the Darkling was playing at. Was he still planning on making her his slave? Or was it something else?

“It’s fine,” Mal said after a moment of tense silence. He cleared his throat. “First light should be good enough then.” There was a short pause, before he continued their discussion from opposite sides of the fire. “It’s going to take a few days even on horseback to reach the last known point of the herd. You are aware of that… right?”

The Darkling waved off his concern. “I am.” He raised a brow at Alina and gave her a knowing smirk. “We can share a bedroll,” he whispered conspiratorially to her, loud enough for everyone in the tent to overhear.

Alina blushed and reached for the bottle of _kvas_ still held in the Darkling’s hand, realizing instantly that he was flexing his position as second only to the king just to make Mal uncomfortable.

“I look forward to it,” she murmured quietly before taking a swing of the drink. She thought of Mal’s unease towards her Grisha abilities and his ongoing infatuation with Zoya. Another Grisha that he apparently didn’t have any issue with. She swallowed her drink, savouring the burn and threw caution to the wind. “Perhaps I’ll keep you nice and warm.”

The Darkling’s eyes danced with amusement. “I certainly hope so.”

~ | ~

Four days, three nights and zero shared bedrolls later Alina and the tracking group had found themselves in the permafrost near Chernast, just south of the border with Fjerda. They had pushed hard on horseback, too hard most likely, given the wheezing coming from a few of their animals. The soldiers were getting frustrated and anxious. 

Alina overheard two of them muttering to each other that Mal must’ve been a fraud; that he was merely prolonging his punishment from the Darkling for failing at his task.

She huffed as she slid off of her horse, handing the reins to the Darkling and cautiously made her way closer to Mal who was sitting in the middle of the plateau on a cluster of boulders.

“Mal?” she whispered as she cautiously came up next to him and sat down beside him on the boulder. “Are we in trouble?”

He snorted, shaking his head. “I don’t even know why I’m doing this, Alina.” His blue eyes met hers. “All that we were told was to find Morozova’s herd and capture the stag. Not kill it.” He peered down at his gloved hands. “Please tell me why I’m doing this,” he pleaded with her. “Is it for you, or is it for the Darkling? Because I was under the impression that it was for him. And now… now I’m not so sure. Now I don’t know what to think.”

Alina took a cautious look back towards the group of soldiers and Grisha who were watching them apprehensively from a distance. The Darkling included. “I’ve got to kill the stag myself,” she told Mal quietly. “It’s an amplifier… for me.”

“An amplifier?” Mal shook his head. “Are you not powerful enough already?”

“It's complicated,” Alina admitted quietly. “I need this, Mal. Ravka needs this.”

“This is about the Shadow Fold, isn’t it?” Mal searched her eyes. “The light that saved us all. That saved me that day. _Your light.”_

Alina swallowed, wishing it were that simple. She gave him a tight smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “It is.”

Mal sighed tiredly. “Mikhael and Dubrov are dead you know.”

_“What?”_ Alina was shocked. She never liked either of them, but knew that they were his best friends. “Mal… what happened?”

“We tracked the herd right up to the border with Fjerda. The captain came up with this shit plan that a few of us should sneak into Fjerda disguised, capture the stag, then somehow find a way to bring it back over the border.” Mal shook his head. “Mikhael, Dubrov and I thought the captain was an idiot and toasted the bastards who would be stuck with the suicide mission.” He laughed sadly. “Then the next day I volunteered. And then Mikhael and Dubrov did as well. They said they didn’t want me to get all the glory.”

“Mal…”

“I had this idea in my head that if I could find the stag I’d be able to see you again. That I’d be able to save you from the… others.” Mal searched Alina’s eyes for any sort of tell. “But after that night at the palace, I don’t think you want to be saved. Do you?”

Alina hesitated and then shook her head, causing Mal to break eye contact. It was the first place she’d ever been where she felt like she belonged. Even just a bit. “What happened with Mikhael and Dubrov?”

Mal was silent for a moment and Alina was unsure if he’d actually answer her question. Eventually he cleared his throat. “Nine of us crossed the border, six soldiers and three trackers. Two of us came back.” He paused. “And it was all for nothing. The herd crossed back into Ravka after the weather turned. We could’ve just waited for the herd to come to us.” His voice echoed across the plateau.

Alina placed a hand on his shoulder, the shock at what she had just heard broke her heart. The change that she saw in her friend made so much more sense. “I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head and shrugged her hand off of his shoulder. “It’s not your fault. You weren’t the one who gave the order.”

“Mal—”

“He’s right, Alina,” the Darkling interrupted her before she could argue and squatted down before her and Mal. “It was a foolish mistake, and one that easily could’ve led to war between the two nations.” He focused on Mal. “Your captain will be demoted and sent elsewhere for disciplinary action.”

“Good.”

“Do you know where the herd is, Oretsev?”

Mal shrugged. “I thought they’d be here… but… they’re not.” He looked despondently around the expansive plateau. “I’ve lost the trail.”

“How long ago did you lose it?” the Darkling asked him. He couldn’t hide his concern.

“Just when we reached the plateau.”

“Maybe if we go back a bit and retrace our steps,” Alina suggested quietly.

Mal shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way. The trail’s been contaminated now.” He frowned as he stared across the plateau. 

“Alina once told me that you could make rabbits out of rocks,” the Darkling spoke quietly to Mal. “She said that you were the best tracker around. Now… I don’t know what trail you’re following, my own trackers can’t see what you’re seeing, Oretsev. But, if you have _any_ idea, now is the time to speak.”

Mal sighed as he stole a glance at Alina, who couldn’t help but nibble on her lip out of nervousness. “My gut is telling me to head west.”

“Your gut?” 

Mal nodded. “My gut,” he confirmed quietly. “It’s never been wrong before.”

The Darkling stared silently at Mal for a few moments. “If this doesn’t end with finding the stag, there are going to be some serious consequences, Oretsev.” He held up a hand, silencing Alina before she could argue. “Do you understand?”

Mal sneered at the man before him. “With all due respect, _sir,_ I’ve a feeling no one can find the herd but me.” He shrugged. “So threaten me all you want, I don’t care. We’ll see which one of us is full of shit, shall we?”

“Mal,” Alina grasped her friend’s hand, “Please don’t provoke him.”

The Darkling rose to his full height. “We’re heading west,” he informed the group waiting some distance away. He stared down cooly at Alina and Mal. “Following closely behind the tracker.”

“I prefer to walk,” Mal informed the Darkling, leaving both he and Alina behind as he began to make his way towards the west side of the plateau.

Alina followed him silently, leaving the Darkling behind with the group.

~ | ~

Alina and Mal walked all through the night, using the stars as their guidance of the general direction they were heading. 

Occasionally Alina would shine a beam of light towards the forest floor, preventing them from losing their footing on the uneven terrain and giving the Darkling and the others some distance away, their specific location.

“I need you to promise me something,” she whispered once they stepped into a small glade.

Mal twisted around to peer at her in question. “What?”

“Promise me first.”

Mal shook his head. “What is it?”

Alina could hear the soft trampling of hooves coming closer to them. “If anything happens _—anything bad—_ I need you to kill me,” she softly rushed out.

Mal’s eyes grew large as he vehemently shook his head. “What? _No._ I can’t do that.”

“Please, Mal,” Alina begged. _“Please._ If I turn into someone you don’t recognize. If I become someone horrible—”

_“I can’t._ You’re my… you’re my Alina.” Mal’s eyes were glassy from unshed tears. 

Alina just stared, willing him to listen to the words she wasn’t saying.

Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She spun towards the disturbance and spotted Morozova’s herd making its way into the snowy glade to nibble on the grass. In the centre of the herd stood a massive white stag with gleaming antlers. It was staring at her with dark eyes. “Mal _look.”_

Alina didn’t wait for Mal’s response before cautiously making her way towards the stag. 

It was as if it was waiting for her. Like it knew why she was here.

She came to a stop directly in front of the massive animal and ran her hand down its muzzle. The stag’s ears twitched, before it lowered his head as if to peer in Alina’s eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” Alina whispered in awe.

“It really is,” the Darkling’s voice sounded around the glade, causing the rest of the herd to scatter into the forest. “You know what you need to do, Alina.”

Alina’s lip quivered while her tears started to fall in earnest as she clutched the stag’s head tightly in her hands. She shook her head. “I can’t.”

“You must.” The Darkling now stood behind her. “This was the deal we made,” he whispered in her ear. His breath was warm like the sun.

Alina’s hand shook as she removed her Grisha knife from its steel and leather sheath hooked on her belt. Making certain that she had a strong hold of the weapon, Alina murmured, “you promise?”

“I promise,” the Darkling murmured in her ear before taking a step back.

Alina held her breath, counted to three, and then slashed her hand out, slicing the neck of the stag. Blood sprayed in her face and over her _kefta_ as the animal reared up and away from her.

It stumbled, making an awful gurgling sound, before it collapsed at Alina’s feet.

She was vaguely aware of the blood dripping from her face and _kefta_ as she watched the magnificent animal take its last breath.

“Take the antlers,” the Darkling was the first to break the silence. “Cut a piece from each.”

An _oprichniki_ stepped forward into the glade with a small tool in his hand, crouched down before the dead stag and began to saw the antlers.

Alina quickly turned away, unable to watch the mutilation. Her eyes met Mal’s own. They were wide. Fearful. He gave her a jerky nod of his head. 

He promised, too.

The Darkling stepped in front of her, blocking her view of Mal, and smiled proudly down at her. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he murmured quietly as he began wiping her face with the sleeve of his _kefta_ before pulling the collar of Alina’s _kefta_ down. “David, if you would do the honours.”

Alina held her breath as David stepped behind her, handing her the pieces of antlers to hold as he carefully formed her collar.

She peered up at the Darkling while he peered down at her. His eagerness was plain for her to see. His arrogance.

Baghra’s warnings about her son rushed through Alina’s mind as her amplifier was crafted.

The corruption. The greed. The need for more.

“It’s done,” David said after finishing his task. 

Alina felt him step away from her. Now only the Darkling stood in front of her.

“Call the light,” he murmured to her. “Show us what you can do.”

She took a deep breath and held out her hands, ready to summon the light.

The Darkling ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

“Oh saints,” Alina muttered as a rush of light sped through her. The glade and surrounding forest were lit up bright as day. _Brighter._

Everyone surrounding her was shielding their faces from her light, except for the Darkling, who was squinting—but grinning—as he muttered something to her that she couldn’t make out over the rush of light.

It felt overwhelming. _Powerful._

She loved it.

  
  
  
  



End file.
